There’s a lot of things weird about this. I’ve never been a big college sports guy, even though the best 5 minutes of sports I’ve ever watched was the last 5 minutes of the College Hockey Championship when Eichel played a couple years ago. And apparently you can’t be neutral on Duke, and I was very neutral on Duke my entire life. It always got awkward whenever people brought up Duke because I had nothing to say. But then Grayson Allen happened.
I LOVE Grayson Allen. I don’t know what it is. He seems to be like every other classic Duke kid but I am infatuated. Even when I watched the I Hate Christian Laettner 30 for 30 I didn’t want to be Laettner as bad as I want to be Allen right now. And I’m from Buffalo! I did some deep thinking on why I’m becoming a Duke fan. Since it’s rare a person is old enough to realize they are going through that process I figured I should give it a couple minutes of thought.
After thinking, I came to the conclusion that it just makes too much sense for me to be a Duke fan because of Grayson Allen. I have gone to a private, catholic school from kindergarten until I finished high school. Duke is just that in college form, and to the extreme. The whiter/preppier the place the more I’ll fit in. And Grayson Allen is exactly what I would be if I was good enough at basketball to play on National Television.Oh people hate me? Well I’ll just hit a three in their face and arrogantly smile. You say white boys can’t play tough? Well if you fuck with me in the game, I’ll trip you. And he plays exactly how I play basketball.*
I started liking him last year when he would come into the tournament and be the classic white kid draining 3s. Then people started saying he would be the next hated Duke player so he stuck in my mind as well as the media’s. Fast forward to this year and I fall in love. I am officially saying I am now a Duke fan. Imagine the faces of all the people who hate us after we win back to back championships and Coach K wins his 800 millionth. I think I was quite literally born to do this.
*Minus the driving, dunking and shooting almost 100% from the line btw.**
**Not sure what his FT% is but I’m assuming it’s almost perfect.